Fred Astaire made dancing look effortless for five decades, but his love life was anything but simple. The legendary hoofer, who died in 1987 at the age of 88, was married twice. His first wife, Phyllis Potter, was the quiet force behind his rise to stardom, and her death nearly destroyed him. His second wife, Robyn Smith, was a trailblazing jockey 45 years his junior, and their May-December romance stunned Hollywood. Here’s the full story of the women Fred Astaire loved, lost, and cherished until his final breath.
Who Was Fred Astaire’s First Wife? Phyllis Potter
Fred Astaire met Phyllis Potter in 1932, not long after his sister and longtime dance partner, Adele, had retired from the stage to marry into British aristocracy. Phyllis was a Boston socialite, the daughter of a prominent physician, and she had been previously married to a man named Potter, which is how she got her surname.
Astaire was 33 when they married. Phyllis was 27. She was elegant, intelligent, and utterly unimpressed by Hollywood. That was exactly what he needed.
For 21 years, Phyllis was the anchor of Astaire’s life. She managed the household, raised their children, and gave him the stability he craved in a chaotic industry. Astaire later said of her: “Phyllis was everything I ever wanted.”
The Children Fred Astaire Shared With Phyllis
Fred and Phyllis had two children together: Fred Jr., born in 1936, and Ava, born in 1942. Astaire also adopted Phyllis’s son from her first marriage, Peter Potter.
Despite his fame and the parade of glamorous women he danced with on screen, Astaire was a devoted family man. He avoided the romantic entanglements that plagued many of his Hollywood peers. When asked how he managed to resist the temptation of so many beautiful co-stars, he simply said: “Phyllis was everything I ever wanted.”
The Devastating Loss of Phyllis Potter
In 1954, Phyllis was diagnosed with cancer. She died in 1955 at the age of 46. Astaire was devastated.
He later admitted that he contemplated suicide after her death. “With Phyllis gone,” he said, “the bottom dropped out of everything. I felt I just couldn’t go on, that there was no point in living. She gave stability to my life.”
He threw himself into work to survive the grief. “It was a long time before I could bring myself to go out with another woman,” he admitted. Friends like Audrey Hepburn and Mel Ferrer tried to set him up, but it would take years before he was ready.
Who Was Fred Astaire’s Second Wife? Robyn Smith
For nearly 25 years after Phyllis’s death, Astaire remained a widower. Then, in 1980, at the age of 81, he shocked the world by marrying Robyn Smith, a 35-year-old former jockey.
Robyn was a pioneer in her own right. She was one of the first successful female jockeys in American horse racing, breaking barriers in a male-dominated sport. She had been a professional rider since the late 1960s and had even graced the cover of Sports Illustrated.
Their paths first crossed on New Year’s Day in 1973 at a race track. Robyn was riding for Alfred Gwynne Vanderbilt, a friend of Astaire’s. Vanderbilt introduced them. Astaire bet on Robyn’s horse, Exciting Divorcee, despite her warning that it was a long shot. The horse won. Astaire was thrilled.
But they didn’t see each other again for five years. Then, in 1978, Robyn was in Los Angeles filming a commercial and called him. They had dinner. Romance bloomed.
The May-December Marriage That Stunned Hollywood
Fred Astaire and Robyn Smith married on June 24, 1980. He was 81. She was 35. The 46-year age gap made headlines around the world.
The marriage was controversial. Astaire’s sister Adele and his daughter Ava were reportedly opposed. But Astaire didn’t care. He was happy.
Robyn quit racing when they married because Astaire couldn’t bear the anxiety of watching her ride. He said he didn’t want to “live with all that anxiety.” She made him sell his horses too, since she couldn’t ride them anymore.
Their life together was quiet and private. They went to movies at noon to avoid crowds. They played golf. They talked for hours. And every night after dinner, they would tango out of the dining room, a private joke that delighted the household staff.
Fred Astaire’s Final Years With Robyn
Astaire was in good health until the last six months of his life. He began losing weight, and Robyn feared the worst. He developed pneumonia in June 1987. She drove him to the hospital late at night to avoid public notice, admitting him under his mother’s maiden name.
Fred Astaire died on June 22, 1987, at the age of 88. He died in Robyn’s arms, too weak to fight the pneumonia.
By a sad coincidence, they had married on June 24 and buried him on June 24. “We’d had seven years of bliss,” Robyn said. “It was fate, absolutely. I know God put us together.”
What Robyn Did After Fred’s Death
Fred left Robyn in charge of his legacy. He told her: “People have taken advantage of me all my life. Try to see that it doesn’t happen after I’m gone.”
She took that mission seriously. She hired lawyers to police the commercial use of his name and image. She stopped a company from selling life-size cutouts of him with holes where jewelry could be displayed. She protected his films, his music, and his memory.
Robyn Astaire never remarried. “It’s wonderful when people do,” she said, “but I won’t.”
The Bottom Line
Fred Astaire’s two wives tell the story of a man who loved deeply and lost profoundly. Phyllis Potter gave him 21 years of stability, two children, and the kind of love that made him say she was “everything I ever wanted.” Robyn Smith gave him seven years of unexpected joy at the end of his life, a second chance at companionship when he thought he’d never find it again.
For a man who spent his entire career making everything look effortless, his love life was proof that even Fred Astaire had to work for happiness.
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